i cannot lie (at least not well)

i cannot lie, at least not well
to any one, but just not you.

the others do not question;
they fed upon false smiles
and invisible tears.

i wear this great disguise
they do not see the misery.
well, what am I to say?

the shame in my throat
bleeds through my eyes.
my heart cries for love.

be kind, and don't ask.
act as though I had you fooled.

i do not want to admit
that each morning births hope
for normality to be restored.

i cling onto his ghost daily
i simply cannot let go.

as my eyes un-peel at dawn
i feel his arms at my waist
waves of his breath in my hair

for a moment, i can pretend
for a minute, i am happy.

then the blunt light of day
creeps though my dreams
i am alone. all alone.

he left with my heart long ago
he moved on; why can't i?